Whoaaa...blog-ku malang, blog-ku tersayang...terbengkalai sekian lama due to lots of things.
lagi bete surete gara2 Ethan lagi sakit. sedih banget ngeliat batuk nya, en feeling so guilty gara2 ASI gue nggak banyak en cuman bisa kasih dia for 1.5 months. feeling guilty juga coz i don't feel like i'm being a good mother to him who can protect him from anything...i mean, any bloody thing.
lagi sedih di kantor karena keterbatasan inet.
lagi sebel sama my closest beloved people...seems that everything is wrong.
lagi bingung en stress of my personal relationship.
tried to love someone unconditionally. tried to respect someone truly and without boundaries. tried to treat that someone in the same way like i treat my own respected people.
but why is it so hard ? why is it so impossible sometimes ? why does a person have to be so selfish, childdish and snob ? why can't a person be a little bit humble, wise and act in their own age ? why does a person do what she/he thinks the best while in fact, it hurts the people around him/her ? and i thought, the older someone is, the wiser he/she should be.
Always remember : Respect is something that you earn, not buy !
it drives me out of my mind. makes me perplexed and ignorant. makes an evil inside of me emerge, while in fact, i never want that evil to come out.
so, now, i'm just holding on to what one of my closest person taught me. be patient, be patient, be patient. so, everytime the shit happens, i always recite : be patient, be patient, be patient, pia. patience is good. patience is rewarding.
the person who taught me that is not the wisest, much younger than the people in her own community and didn't have much chance to enjoy good education when she was a child.
she got married when she was still 20, had me when she was 21, struggled for life since she was still a baby and being bullied by her closest people since she was still so young
she might not have a university degree, she might not have felt the college life, she might have not been born with a silver spoon, but boy, she's something. My Wonder Woman.
so, Mommy, thanks a million, for you have taught me and still teaching me valuable life lessons, for you have been listening to my complaints, stories and worries. For you have been keeping me sane and never failed to be my shoulder to cry on. for you have been more than just a mommy, but also my confidante, my most reliable friend, my best buddy.
so, without having any intentions to mock anyone (especially all of u, daughters of your own mothers), who are not close to their own mums, u have no idea your loss and what u miss.
huaaahhh....legaaaaa rasanya kalo udah menumpahkan semuanyaaaaaaaaaaa